Facts don’t matter, this is news!

Can the AP colossally fuck up the facts any worse than it has? Their story says:

Tesla says its keenly awaited Model 3 car for the masses will go on sale on Friday.

This is just fucking wrong. Elon Musk said in this twitter post:

Expecting to complete SN1 on Friday

SN1 = Serial Number 1. The first production vehicle. Nowhere does he say that they’re going on sale this Friday. He says they expect to complete the first production vehicle on Friday. He goes on to tweet:

Handover party for first 30 customer Model 3’s on the 28th!

As one of the first plebs to reserve the chance to order a Model 3, I would be quite well aware when they were being made available for sale to the general public. Not yet.

Get your shit together, AP. You really suck right now. Also, 215 miles is not 133 km:

Tesla says the five-seat car will be able to go 215 miles (133 kilometers)

Jesus Fucking Christ!!

A coworker and I have a running joke about how awesome the world would be if everybody just did their jobs. Not even 100% of their jobs, just most of their jobs most of the time. This piece of garbage doesn’t deserve to be called news. Certainly not facts.

Source: Tesla says its affordable Model 3 car will go on sale on Friday – The Denver Post

Dream Car

I had a dream about the Model 3 this morning. Among its features were a thrust vector control rocket motor on the back, like the Batmobile meets an F-22 Raptor. This made it capable of landing vertically like the Falcon rocket. Also the rear view mirror was a frustratingly low-resolution LCD monitor that identified the year and model of each passing car, although the white text was sadly pixelated and difficult to read. The car came in a two-door coupe variant, which saved some money, but I ultimately decided we would get the sedan because they didn’t actually make the coupe version (dreamland logic).

All Tesla Cars Being Produced Now Have Full Self-Driving Hardware

I rarely laugh out loud from pure joy, but I did watching this video, several times, in fact. Although the video is promotional and highly controlled, it reaffirms everything I’ve believed about the future of self-driving car technology, and I’m even more excited that we’re in line to purchase one of these cars.

Tesla also says they will demonstrate a coast-to-coast autonomous drive some time next year. I assume this means automatic charging, too.

Self-driving vehicles will play a crucial role in improving transportation safety and accelerating the world’s transition to a sustainable future. Full autonomy will enable a Tesla to be substantially safer than a human driver, lower the financial cost of transportation for those who own a car and provide low-cost on-demand mobility for those who do not.

Source: All Tesla Cars Being Produced Now Have Full Self-Driving Hardware

The car industry has never witnessed what Tesla is about to go through – The Washington Post

That massive number, which far exceeded optimistic forecasts, upends traditional thinking about how to sell cars and is expected to spur the auto industry to shift more dramatically to market electric technology to consumers, analysts said.

Source: The car industry has never witnessed what Tesla is about to go through – The Washington Post

Sigh. They still don’t get it and they probably never will. It’s not just that the Model 3 is electric. And it’s not just that the car is fast and sleek and high-tech. And it’s not just that the car gets better over time through over-the-air software updates. And it’s not just that they have a vast network of superchargers. And it’s not just Tesla’s direct sales, no-dealership model. It’s all of these things combined. And that is why traditional auto makers will probably never catch up. Chevy may have the 200-ish mile range Bolt but they don’t have the other stuff. Sorry, establishment. You’ve had a good run, but you’re over.

400 line up to put deposits on “affordable” Tesla Model 3 at Park Meadows Mall – The Denver Post

Quotations around “affordable.” Well, it depends on your perspective.

Hundreds of people lined up Thursday morning outside the Tesla store in Park Meadows Mall, some prepared to put down $1,000 deposits cars they won’t see b

Source: 400 line up to put deposits on “affordable” Tesla Model 3 at Park Meadows Mall – The Denver Post